Trapped, Part 2

So, I did my first post, and then I was poking around on Facebook and saw a link to a youtube post about an amazingly intelligent girl with autism....Hmmmm, I think, so I actually click on the link and watch the story...
Segue, I usually avoid any and all posts on Facebook dealing with autism, kinda like I avoid TV programs where characters have Apserger's Syndrome or autism...lots of parents with kids on the spectrum find comfort in the story lines that parallel their own lives; I don't. I almost feel like it makes my life more real, seeing it played out on the Television screen...so I avoid Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Eureka, Parenthood, and that new one coming out on Fox with Kiefer Sutherland. I mean, really, if that was the sort of entertainment I was looking for, I'd videotape my own life and play it on a continuous loop...
So, I took a look at this clip on youtube that featured Carly, a 14 year old in Canada who started typing to communicate 3 years ago. My heart broke as I watched the footage of the hours upon hours of ABA therapy, the repetitive behaviors, the commentary from the psychiatrist that mentioned moderate to severe mental retardation...I was fortunate to be blessed with an understanding very early in the process of playing the system that my kids were smart, regardless of how they performed on a standardized test.
However, Carly's own words touched my heart even more, how she is trapped in the body of autism, how she just wants to be like the other kids at school, but doesn't want to be made fun of when her body is out of the control of her mind. I see my own boys' struggle as she has her meltdowns, and then explains to us exactly why that happens.
How would I feel if I was dumped on a foreign shore, blinded by the sun, walking around in clothes that fit too tight, the sounds coming at me comparable to heavy metal music blaring from an MP3 player with earbuds I can't remove. How would I react when someone came up behind me and tried to give me a hug? How would I communicate even my most basic needs when I can't get my vocal cords to respond to my mental commands? Would I even want to when I hear my own voice and it sounds like a baby's? How would I tell people of my heartbreak when Tod died? The loneliness and desolation, the devastation and remorse for all that is lost with his death?
Sometimes I wonder if I'm being "fair" to the twins, in *not* forcing them to communicate more at home via facilitated communication. I've had the training multiple times and feel good about doing it with them. However, the emotional ties between each of us, and the very obvious demands of the home environment, don't make for a good place to start.